Tales from the Hospital

For those of you who don't know, I have Cystic Fibrosis. From time to time, when my lungs get really bad, I have to go into the hospital for a "tune up." Not sure if that is the medical term, but I've used it my entire life. Pretty much, it is 2 weeks of very strong IV antibiotics, respiratory therapy four times a day, and frequent detailed questions about everything that goes in and comes out of my body. But just because my lungs were sick, it did not mean that I felt bad. I was definitely not lying in a hospital bed feeling miserable. The following are my funny/annoying tales from my time in the Hospital. Enjoy!

1. The nurse told me that she needed a urine sample. No problem, I’ve done those before. So she gives me the cup and the little moist towelettes and leaves. So I go to the bathroom and since I’ve done these before I know that you are suppose to wipe with the towelettes before so you get a “clean sample”. So I wipe... and about 5 second after I realized very quickly that it was not a moist towelette-- it was an alcohol wipe. No, that is not meant to be used in that way. It burned!! So then I’m at a loss of what to do to stop the burning!! Cause it is only increasing and I don’t have anything with me in the bathroom. I resorted to regular toilet paper, which helped a little but did not fix the problem. I burned for a while.

2. Everyone keeps bringing me a wheelchair to take me places. But I feel lazy taking a whee

lchair places. I drove here myself and I walked all the way to my room to check in. At what point did my health decline so much that I need to be carted around? How do I get on the non-wheelchair list? Because when they bring the wheelchair and I don’t sit in it, then we both get to walk the wheelchair around with us. That is awkward. Also, you have to have a transport person everywhere you go, just in case you pass out somewhere without anyone to help you. When should I point out that I drove myself here. Was that unsafe?

3. Up until this point, my visit to the hospital had been uneventful. It helps when you know what you are doing, but overall I was the “easiest patient.” They started me on a new IV med today called vancomycin. The Dr wanted me to start it slowly because I’ve never had it before. So the nurse told me about possible side effects and everything and we started it. About an hour into it, the nurse came in to move it a little faster. They wanted it done in 2 hours, and at the current speed it would take 2.5 hours. So not a huge difference. About 5-10 min later my scalp started itching. And not just a little... like a ton!! And then it moved to my cheeks and on to the back of the neck. So I called the nurse because one of the side effects is called “red man” where you get all flushed. Didn’t mention itching, but I was itching enough to know that it wasn’t random. So my nurse decided to give me a shot of benadryl. He gave me 25mg, which is the size of a normal pill, so no big deal. It stopped the itching but about 30 seconds later I was totally floating and almost passed out. I was holding on to things to try and keep me steady even though I was already sitting. I guess my body wan’t use to the IV benadryl. Also, I had been doing my vest and nebulizer at the same time, which I’m sure did not help the situation. For about 10-20 min I had everyone watching me while I took deep breaths an concentrated on not passing out. It eventually went away, but then I was super sleepy, which is a normal side effect of benadryl.

4. This one is titled Ice Water. I don’t know what the deal is, but everyone is always asking if I want some ice water. And some just bring it without asking. Sometime I come back to my room or come out of the bathroom, and there is a big cup of ice water. What is the deal? It is getting a little out of hand! This morning around 4:30 I woke up to the alarm on my IV machine, which was very loud. They were trying to fix it, and here comes one of the nurses with a huge cup of ice water. Honestly? Did she really think that I was going to stay up and drink it? It was 4 flippin’ 30 in the morning!! (Which is exactly what I texted to Traci when it happened.)

5. They had to draw more blood and the guy asked if I was ok with it on the inside of my wrist. I responded with, “I can’t see why not? No one has even been looking there.” Now I know why not!! It hurts worse after!! So much worse!! So when I said, “why not?” his response should have been, “because it hurts more.” The warning would have been much appreciated!!

6. Last night Laurel and Layna came to visit. When I was doing my vest Layna wanted to take a picture because she was proud of me and said it made me cool. I said sarcastically, “yeah, so cool with my big white puffy vest with velcro.” And then we look over at Laurel who is wearing a white puffy vest with buttons. It was so funny. We took a picture to show the similarities.